Happy Birthday TATUM

 

8 years ago today…. I was given a LUCKY CHARM.

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What a gift, and what a SPECIAL GIRL for this world!

She is funny, smart, goofy, creative, and all those things together that make a LUCKY CHARM, LUCKY…with her in by my side each day the sun rises and the moon takes over I find my breathing, in and out, soft controlled and metered.  She brings me soft seas, and calm winds every time I look into her beautiful blue eyes.  I had two beautiful boys who bring me the joy of only two boys can, and I have a daughter, who brings me a vision of a better version of myself.

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LUCKY CHARM, thank you for all you do for me each day by being YOURSELF…I learn EVERYDAY to be my “best self” because of you….

I LOVE YOU!!

 

Happy Birthday……MOM

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Counting CHANGE……

 

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If I had a dime for every time I said out loud “I don’t have enough time” I would be a very RICH woman!

Sometimes I feel like I am pushing through a river of mud…

Sometimes I just feel like it’s water…

But most of the time I try to sit back and go with the FLOW….

There are two parts of me making me WHOLE…my YING and my YANG….corresponding day after day….making decisions…holding on to pure FAITH that all my EFFORTS for SO MANY THINGS will not be done in VAIN….

 

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I LOVE living it…no matter how many times I find my self “screaming inside “UGGGGH…I don’t have enough time!”  I sit down at my desk, look at my blank page wondering what in the world am I going to write….THEN….. I find my fingers moving…and the words fall out like candy from a trick or treat bag —

Writing has ALWAYS brought me home…it brings me back to my CENTER, rooting me to my source…back to ME –the only–SELF–

Days are VERY BUSY lately, SEASONS shifting from one to the next….Kids growing, –Jack using longer sentences and asking questions! — Tatum losing her front tooth!  –Logan growing his hair out for the first time!  (I had to beg him LOL)

Matt is back and forth from “somewhere in the country” to HOME….but we are ALL so HAPPY HOME is where he most OFTEN lands……we EAT, DRINK, LAUGH, CRY, even FREAK OUT at times….but we are a GREAT PARTY OF FIVE!  Having a GREAT PARTY of a time!

Trips to Nashville, trips to the mall, birthday parties and zip-lines……IEP meetings, finding the perfect word to complete the sentence of injustice….I am BUSY, but I AM rooted like a TREE deep in the ground, standing protecting the LOVE around me…..

Happy Thursday!

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Happy LIFE!

Almost time for…..

Goodbye SUMMER….

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S is for Sleeping—I can not tell you how I am going to miss staying up until midnight and sleeping in until 9am..it’s one of my favorite times of the day…lying silently in bed listening to the “nothing” that surrounds me.  I lay quietly waiting as they wrap up their  dreams soon to disappear as fast as a fallen snowflake in a warm mitten when their eyes awake….

U is for United—the four of us, Jack, Logan, Tatum and Myself have been attached at the hip like velcore to a shoe everyday of the week (week after week).  Spending days on end in the grass, water, and sun.  Sometimes quite, but most often just plain rowdy… as a TN football game in over time…UNITED we got in the car EVERY morning and went to get my Starbucks!….bless their hearts LOL.

M is for Money–money came and went like the waves on the shores….times to play and times to rest….

M is for Motivation–finding any of THIS was like finding a pirates treasure.  This time of year is NOT for motivation, better suited for reflection and lazy glasses of lemonade and italian ice….

E is for Evolving–I have spent the past weeks on books that have changed my perspective for ever and always….amen…..

R is for REMEMBER this summer as one of the BEST…time with my children that will never be quite the same again…..

ahhh…SUMMER..

almost time for

Goodbye.

Happy Fall Y’all!

I am finding I have not as much time to post thes past couple of months.  My studies are taking every inch of “individual time” away!

Setting myself for obtaining a masters in a year is quite the undertaking……

I need all the crossed fingers I can get!

Life is a beauty outside, the rain soft clouds hover over our heads taunting us with a shower or two.

I drove down the back roads of Knoxville yesterday with yellow leaves falling from each side of the tree lined curvy roads, hitting the black pavement just in time for me to roll by.

The rain has certainly colored the trees.

We went to a mountain get away, my husband and I and two friends, KIDS FREE!  Asheville is a beauty. Builtmore is so spectatular that I rather not put into words.  Here are some pictures of the grounds.  There is no photography allowed inside.

  

I would move to Asheville in  heart beat if hubby and I could find work. Liberal, comforting, classy, mountain, thoughtful town.

 

We stayed in a Bed and Breakfast.  LOVELY little house that reminded me of Winston-Salem, NC where we both lived in a house during school.  An old craftman, beautifully set back among trees and mist.

I slept like a baby.

We wanted at least two more days to roam around the town, eat, shop and just hang.  Maybe next year.  Our tenth year anniversary is at the end of the month.  Maybe….

Right now I am under pressure to get through this “research for education” class.  It is a thorn in my side.  I am not a left brain person and so conducting tedious research and analization is new to my brain and to my heart.  I have been clicking pictures and painting my hearts desire for the past three yearss! LOL

It’s good for the soul.  I need something to sink my “brain” into.  Not that clicking pictures and painting art doesn’t require that, we all know, but it a preferred activity, research and analyzing how motivation effects students tests scores has little glitter and glam.

As far as all this  I will take it a day at a time, class by class, enjoy the season and click and paint inbetween the craveses of the day.  There is always time to pick up my camera, Geddy Man, and see the world from my favorite view!

Leaf season is reving up it’s engine!

I find stillness in the chaos of falling leaves, halloween masks, pumkin light, and beef stew simming on the stove inside my house with a fire roaring and kids roasting marshmellows.

Still I stand, in the corner of the room, watching, the action, the movement of others before me.

Taking it all in I try to enhale aleast one new sound, new smell, new vision of the life before me–

Always–

Happening.

Stepping Into I Fall

Summer is coming to an end like a good book with only  pages to read–

–never wanting the story to end, but knowing a new story waits ahead to be found–

as sure as the phases of the moon this wanning

summer will soon

fall–

straight into bright leaves and pumpkin pie–

kids planning costumes and chatting of school events, camp fires,  short days with longer nights–

apples as common as yellow leaves stew on oven tops sharing their sweet smell–

breeze breeze come again

while I sit under this changing tree

breeze breeze I love your touch

like the soft touch of the fabric LOVE

I am yours today

My book and me

I will stay as long as you breeze

Strangest things happen in the afternoon–

alone–thinking–being by myself–

Stillness,  so often covered by the sounds of modern life–

life of the everyday–

Deep breaths comfort me–trees blow in the breeze and save me–

I am back where I belong–

 Autum is reaching out–arms length away, but heading towards as fast as I can blink

summer to fall to winter to spring

the seasons of life–

the seasons of me–