Happy Birthday TATUM

 

8 years ago today…. I was given a LUCKY CHARM.

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What a gift, and what a SPECIAL GIRL for this world!

She is funny, smart, goofy, creative, and all those things together that make a LUCKY CHARM, LUCKY…with her in by my side each day the sun rises and the moon takes over I find my breathing, in and out, soft controlled and metered.  She brings me soft seas, and calm winds every time I look into her beautiful blue eyes.  I had two beautiful boys who bring me the joy of only two boys can, and I have a daughter, who brings me a vision of a better version of myself.

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LUCKY CHARM, thank you for all you do for me each day by being YOURSELF…I learn EVERYDAY to be my “best self” because of you….

I LOVE YOU!!

 

Happy Birthday……MOM

Tea with Joseph Campbell….again…

When a woman decides to have children it is a silent commitment to herself that what ever she has to do she WILL DO.

“Motherhood is the ultimate sacrifice” said Joseph Campbell during a long conversation during his recording on DVD The Power of Myth.

That DVD changed my life when I was first exposed to it my sophomore year in Acting School as much as my KIDS have changed my life since my first one showed up in the year 2004.

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The Power of Myth is full of life altering moments.  Ah-ha’s at every turn.  Ah-ha’s that hit you in the gut and ground you to the mother Earth….I walk away with…we are ALL the SAME as we are ALL “happening” ALL over the place.

This is how I think of motherhood.  No matter what, no matter of the individual woman I come in contact with I KNOW we have all “made this silent commitment”(..at least most of us.)

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I had a moment today sitting in a school meeting, not for my son who has Austism, but for my son, LOGAN, who IS “scared to go to school”.  I am dealing with  a child who is dealing with separation anxiety at the age 8 because of the life circumstances of his fathers job.  He travels a lot.  Going back and forth to Atlanta and then flying out to NYC and such on “business”.  It’s a decision we made taking the job, but it was a decision that we had no idea would change the psyche of our children.  It’s been right at a year now that our family has been ‘on the move”.  It’s challenges are many, but our security is much more “secure”.  We are “all good” (most of the time), but at the same time, “walking on egg shells.” (some of the times).

Not knowing what the kids will do each time DAD says, “BYE”.

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I know in my gut that we are doing the right thing.  We are not trust funds babies LOL, and we are certainly eager to “make it on our own”.  I know we are stellar parents no matter the strange arguments we find ourselves in as “mother and father” arguing over who is right and who is wrong when it comes to the “fundamentals” of, for example, “sharing”.  Teaching children is more of an ART than I ever experienced in  ART SCHOOL!

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I have been moving around MANY obstacles of MANY colors as of late.  I have been what you call…..a warrior…..breathing in deep and finding focus at ALL COST.  I sit here at the begining of a new season…Autumn….wondering how many leaves will fall.  I sit here at the beginning of a new cycle of LIFE.  I find some strange comfort acknowledging this change of season….knowing I too will experience a change…

soon enough….

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IF YOU CAN NOT FIND TRUTH RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, WHERE ELSE DO YOU EXPECT TO FIND IT

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Happy Fall Y’all!

I am finding I have not as much time to post thes past couple of months.  My studies are taking every inch of “individual time” away!

Setting myself for obtaining a masters in a year is quite the undertaking……

I need all the crossed fingers I can get!

Life is a beauty outside, the rain soft clouds hover over our heads taunting us with a shower or two.

I drove down the back roads of Knoxville yesterday with yellow leaves falling from each side of the tree lined curvy roads, hitting the black pavement just in time for me to roll by.

The rain has certainly colored the trees.

We went to a mountain get away, my husband and I and two friends, KIDS FREE!  Asheville is a beauty. Builtmore is so spectatular that I rather not put into words.  Here are some pictures of the grounds.  There is no photography allowed inside.

  

I would move to Asheville in  heart beat if hubby and I could find work. Liberal, comforting, classy, mountain, thoughtful town.

 

We stayed in a Bed and Breakfast.  LOVELY little house that reminded me of Winston-Salem, NC where we both lived in a house during school.  An old craftman, beautifully set back among trees and mist.

I slept like a baby.

We wanted at least two more days to roam around the town, eat, shop and just hang.  Maybe next year.  Our tenth year anniversary is at the end of the month.  Maybe….

Right now I am under pressure to get through this “research for education” class.  It is a thorn in my side.  I am not a left brain person and so conducting tedious research and analization is new to my brain and to my heart.  I have been clicking pictures and painting my hearts desire for the past three yearss! LOL

It’s good for the soul.  I need something to sink my “brain” into.  Not that clicking pictures and painting art doesn’t require that, we all know, but it a preferred activity, research and analyzing how motivation effects students tests scores has little glitter and glam.

As far as all this  I will take it a day at a time, class by class, enjoy the season and click and paint inbetween the craveses of the day.  There is always time to pick up my camera, Geddy Man, and see the world from my favorite view!

Leaf season is reving up it’s engine!

I find stillness in the chaos of falling leaves, halloween masks, pumkin light, and beef stew simming on the stove inside my house with a fire roaring and kids roasting marshmellows.

Still I stand, in the corner of the room, watching, the action, the movement of others before me.

Taking it all in I try to enhale aleast one new sound, new smell, new vision of the life before me–

Always–

Happening.