When I was a little girl I remember getting very excited about this time of year. Somehow, somewhere,in my little girl mind the Easter Bunny had became a boneified
HERO to me.
Today watching my children, my mind couldn’t help but circle around childhood memories….the latest, I see myself running barefoot in a blue dress across the long brick hallway in the house my father built known as the “quarter”.
In another time and another place perhaps Italian models would walked down this long narrow space showing off the latest fashions of the year, looking gorgeous of course while at the same time a tad bit sad.
But not this life, not that day somewhere back in my memory of bliss… somewhere in the past, this “quarter” was my playground.
A place my imagination ran lose like a bull stampede.
I remember I swore one Easter I saw the Easter Bunny standing outside in the long line of windows…brown vest, floppy ears, and basket in head with beautiful colored eggs ready to start the hiding for a little girl name me.
By lunchtime my thoughts were on my mother. She especially LOVES this time of year. “This is my favorite time of year!” She exclaims just around April 7th….. as if for the first time. I can’t help but turn and say , “Mom you say that every year.” (of course with a smile.) And with that statement and looking at my mother sends my mind swirling into distant, but so close, kind loving memories of my grandmother,” NANA” (aka Anna Ruth), who LOVED “this time of year” as much as my mother or more. Writing even the word NANA brings a sorrow to my heart, I miss her… I have so many questions.
As I look at Linda, my mom, who is the spitting image of NANA now a days, and hear the echos of a voice speaking proudly that she is a savior of Cancer.
In February 2014 she went through lung surgery.
She was caught by the beast but came out at the end like the the brave Green Knight himself.
She no longer has Cancer.
That damn DRAGON! She WON! But not without a FIGHT!
(Sharing this journey is a bit unexpected. I have thought long and hard about posting about what she, I, and the rest of family have been and are still going through in regards to this DRAGON, but I never felt the need.)
(I have been but a quiet, but very active observer,( like the soul within me), watching, learning, and contemplating her diagnoses and recovery.
She is in my heart forever know as “LINDY SWAN”. No matter the circumstances, she finds a way to glide across the water with ease. Cancer or NO Cancer.
I LOVE HER.
And with the thought of LOVE my mind now comes to my children.
Lately, for what ever reason, I know I am awesome and all (LOL), but both Logan and Tatum have been telling me how much they love me. I hear it and I respond with, “I love you more.” Then it turns into a tournament of who can say “I love you more ” MORE. I eventually say well, we both cancel each other out, so we both win. They are so affectionate. They both are such soft souls. Jack too, but if you read my posts, it’s a bit of different way of communication. I know in my heart, I feel it every time I am with him that he too is playing this tournament of LOVE.
I am full of gratitude and wonder. Life is so unexpected.
There are some days I feel complete and honestly some days I feel like swiss cheese.
Though I am getting better day by day holding both in my hand with a kind acceptance and eagerness.
Spring is a time of renewal. We all go about our days throughout the year and hustle and bustle hoping that each day will arrive again. I am old enough (I guess), old may not be part of it, maybe just lived enough to be willing to consider the truth of life…..
one day all of this BEAUTY will be GONE….
but for now the memories, and the building of new ones, hold my spirits seams together
really good hugs and flowers.