Today is one of those days.
This week has been one of those weeks.
I am unable to think clearly.
I have a lot of change going on around me.
I decided instead of trying to post something that was clear and to the point I would just journal my thoughts.
I haven’t had a lot of space in my daily routine the past week.
During these times I try to ground myself by looking at my own two feet, noticing ME in the mirror, looking outside and what is happening right around me.
Not out there, but right here, no more than 100 feet in front of my nose.
The sun shinning down, the birds singing, the trees blooming, the grass growing.
I awake to the feeling of the breeze around me that flows through my open windows.
I take a deep breath and release tension.
I close my eyes and open them and root my sight.
I clean kitchens, I clean drawers, I listen to my kids imagination telling one to go left and the other one to jump up high.
I look through my pictures, noticing ones I hadn’t noticed before.
I try to just exist.
I try to not put any pressure on myself or my work.
I am always plotting and planning and sometimes not doing anything is the best thing.
Sometimes just sitting still and looking at the ants crawl around my chair is better than trying to come up with next best idea.
I have so many things I want to do that my racing mind becomes a hassle.
All I really want to do is BE.
All I can do is MOVE around and hope to find a place to put my energy–
I pick up random books and enjoy reading passages I have loved for so long.
I drink wine to relax and listen to French music in “their” language. It is authentic and to the point….no agenda.
I look around my studio and see pieces of this and that, ideas floating in the air waiting to be finished–listening for the next clue….waiting for the next slap of glue and the next color hue.
I shake my head int he “YES” motion and except that I am just HERE.
all good things will come.