Forty Day-Dreams….#1

When I think of my childhood, and go back as far as I can remember
 I find 
sitting in
Gatlinburg, TN.
A beautiful mountain town nestled in the Great Smoky Mountains. 
 If you go digging deep enough 
somewhere up there is a piece of my heart
waiting for me to come home.  
I don’t know if I ever will.  
Not sure if I am the same person as that piece of heart belongs to,
I often imagine myself 
driving up there looking for it 
and seein’ if it wants to “reconnect”.
Never say never.  
I don’t think so, but…
That’s OK. 
I may be not be that little girl, but memories are strong.
I still  have a lot of dreams about the house my parents built up in those mountains.
  All brick, tall colonial columns, fountains, and a big black bath tub with a red telephone mounted by the toilet.  
Lying in front of it,  a long drive way winding down lined with pine trees and forest that seemed forever to complete in my child’s mind.
 It was built on the daydreams of my parents.   
 Together, they designed a Utopia.  
They built their own fortune, their hearts turned concrete.
 It was the land of Sliver and Gold-
Bigger than life-
A fairytale from left to right, up and down, over and under-
looking back I could have been any character in one of my daughters Princess books-
I was Princess Stephanie
  I will always remember

I have always heard if you didn’t dream you would wouldn’t be alive.
You may not “remember” your dreams, but your brain has to dream.
Night dreams or Day dreams a dream is a dream.
Many cultures say dreams are omens of the future.
Dreams are visions of what is to come.
Dreams are your mind at work sorting out the feelings of your heart.
When I was a little girl sitting up there on top of that  mountain in that big house my parents built I had dreams of ancestors floating around the halls of the house deep in the night watching over me. 
 In these dreams they had tea parties and big bands playing.
Dancing was allowed and laughter was pure.
 I imagined it was something like being on the Titanic.  
Very formal and full of grace. 
They moved in slow motion, they laughed out loud at the same time throwing their heads back  with pure enjoyment. 
 Caviar and campaign floated around the room on silver trays, no bodies behind it, no hands holding it, just floating, just there.
 {Dreams are  powerful-
Dreams are visual diary’s of you subconscious-
Often they remind you of what matters most in your heart-
A wind of truth-}
After a while the tea party ended with me waking up.  
The laughter was gone, left only was the night, me, and my pounding heart.
 On most occasions during these dreams I would find myself with the sun coming up spooned around my mother when my eyes opened looking down at her gold and silver rings wrapped around my ribs.
It was the safest place in the house. 
I love my tea parties.
  I loved my dreams as a kid.  
I rely on my dreams as an adult.
The kid inside me is the dream inside my heart.
I made a commitment when I turned 40.
I would live the rest of my life fulfilling the 40 day-dreams that have built up over the 40 years I have lived as my self.
My parents are dreamers
I am a dreamer.-
I want my kids to be dreamers.
Dreams are you talking to yourself-
Dreams are your truest vision
Dreams are what you are capiable of
Dreams are what whispers to you in the depth of the darkness
Breathing up and down
Telling you your own secrets

My first dream-

The man of my dreams, everything I could think of summed up in one man-
I found him-the man on the Titantic-at my tea parties- laughing and enjoying life like life was meant to enjoyed-
My dream-
A man-
My husband-
My soulmate-
My friend-
Matt Anderson-

When I met him I already knew him-
He planned the tea parties, he was a friend of the family- I never knew his name 
I do now-

All the time-
For me……
Only 39 more to go-

Author: openlifestudio

I am a self taught photographer and mixed media artist with a degree from the North Carolina School of the Arts in classical theatre performance. Stage was my first love and brought me into the world art while photography is what made me want to stay. I am married to superman, and am the mother of three little super-ducks. I studied creative writing at the Univeristy of Tn and classical drama at the NC School of the Arts, and a Masters in Education with concentration of inclusion and curriculum. I've liived in NYC and LA for the past decade and moved back to TN for some home cooking and back yard fun . I spend most of my days getting little ones through life and playing in my studio. I sell my work through different venues and am really happy where I find myself these days. I love to drink a bottle of wine (with my hubby) coupled with extra cheddar blast goldfish! Having kids has changed my life, the arts has shaped my life, and my soulmate continues everyday to walk through my life beside me. What else could a country city girl like me need.

One thought on “COUNTING DOWN”

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