TODAY I STARTED DREAMING
I stared at myself in the mirror.
I saw me.
I am full of my
My Self watches
(a wholeness that is forever hangin’ around.)
I had no way of picking up “Getty Man” so I grabbed my iphone and clicked.
Today I started dreaming.
I stared looking around me.
Today I saw the sky.
Today I saw the buildings.
Today I heard music.
Today I felt a simple pulse thumbing inside my chest.
A sound so quiet it held the universe as if it were a baby.
Such a quiet confidence
My 5 year old son asked me yesterday while playing a video game (sitting in his new “lion” chair Santa brought him)
“when I turn 7 years old will I have a heard time with words too?”
I was taken back with the question and stopped and went up to him.
He was so beautiful. He was so innocent.
He was so sincere.
“No”, I said. “Jack has always had a hard time, you have not. Turning 7 won’t change that.”
I pushed his hair back and looked into his baby blue eyes and smiled.
His brother, Jack
I am O.K.
He is O.K.
Our family is O.K.
It has taken time.
Many years with some tears.
Tons of research and questions.
Deep breaths, laughter, acceptance, and mostly
Having a special needs child has broadened my scope of vision.
It has given me the chance to see the world in a perspective I would not have otherwise.
A perspective of profound personal acceptance, for Jack, my Self and everyone I already LOVE and those I am meeting everyday in my life.
I hold a new tolerance of understanding that I don’t think would have come to had it not been for Jack and his “disability.”
I have always tried to have such acceptance, but today, after having Jack in my life for 7 years, loving him, working with him, enjoying his presence, celebrating each new year–year after year–it has coated my skin with new colors.
I couldn’t imagine living any other way.
I see beauty in most everything I see.
I live in two worlds all the time.
I live full.
I live to feel
Autism is a part of my life, like my arm is a part of my body.
My Children are a part of my life like the my heart beat is part of my existence.
I am whole. For so many reasons.
I dream in order to find
Dreaming is the way I SEE.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
MAY YOU LIVE IT
THE BEAUTY OF PURE ACCEPTANCE